Amongst all the excitement of planning your wedding and your honeymoon, do not forget to plan for your marriage. The wedding and the honeymoon is what a lot of us old married folk call the “breeze.” It’s much more easy and fun in the beginning because you are so caught up in how much in love you are that you don’t see all of life’s challenges coming around the corner. This is why we recommend you to take our ‘Preparing for the Covenant of Marriage.’ (Marriage course). God made marriage a covenant, not a contract. A blood covenant is a promise between God to mankind sealed with blood. It is the highest form of agreement, and it is not to be broken! This is why God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16)! We at NAME do not want divorce to be an option for anyone. You need to divorce- proof your marriage from the beginning. If you do that, then the devil will have no room to plant divorce as an option when any stress arises in your marriage and, realistically, they will arise at times. That is why our course covers many things that you need to realize or come to agreement on before marriage. The following are some of the different focal areas: sexually satisfying your spouse, finances and budgeting, faith and your relationship with God, family: in-laws, kids, crisis prevention, fears and failures, and so on.
As you begin your marital journey, recognize that most couples bring unrealistic expectations into their marriages, which ultimately sets them up for disappointment. It is easy to assume that just because your father was able to fix everything, that your husband should be handy around the house too. Or you may recall that mom always laundered and pressed your clothes so you think your wife should perform the same duties regardless of her own needs or responsibilities. Placing presumptive demands on one another can destroy a marriage before it ever gets off the ground. Instead, work together to establish the best solution for your household and then be willing to pitch in and do whatever needs to be done, even if it’s not your “job.” How satisfying do you want your marriage to be? Do you think it gets that way on its own? Besides a healthy dose of daily prayer – as individuals and as a couple – there are other essential factors that will steer you in the right direction. Seek to understand each other. Be teachable and learn all you can. Rather than waiting upon your spouse to conform to your expectations, make an intentional effort to bless them. NAME Canada has one of the best pre-marital Courses called PREPARING FOR THE COVENANT OF MARRIAGE.
God admonishes us to enjoy one another in marriage. Specifically, He encourages us to live happily with our mate (Ecclesiastes 9:9 NLT) and to rejoice over them and be a fountain of blessing to each other (Proverbs 5:18 NLT). If God said this in his Word, then it must be possible for us to live accordingly. Marriage is the union of a man and a woman who are completely committed to their covenant with and before God. A happy, fulfilling marriage is when both husband and wife understand this and continually seek out ways to add to their relationship by making Christ the head of their home and serving each other in love. It is each spouse being willing to give all of themselves in spite of the other spouses contributions or deficiencies. To enjoy your marriage, recognize that there are many benefits that come along with it. Enjoy companionship by doing things together. Practice emotional intimacy by communicating with your spouse and getting to know each other’s heart. Allow yourself to grow as a person by confronting and crucifying your own self-centeredness. Make the most of your spiritual partnership by praying and seeking God together, for in God’s eyes the marriage bond between a husband and wife is the strongest of all. NAME Canada has a lot of great information to help and encourage you in your marriage. See Resources
In a world where the average divorce rate exceeds 50 percent, staying married has become quite a challenging feat according to cultural standards and expectations. That’s why it is vital to comprehend that marriage is more than an emotional commitment; it’s a vow, or covenant, made before and with God. If we can accept the weight of that realization, then couples, particularly christian couples, would not be bailing out on their marriages due to irreconcilable differences or the allegation that they’ve “grown apart.” You do not need to focus on the problem, but you need to focus on the promise! (God's promise). Central to the success of marriage is a couple’s ability to accept and even appreciate their gender differences. It is also fundamental that they learn to amicably resolve matters that need attention. To do so, differentiate between issues that are solvable and those that are not, and leave the unsolvable ones alone. Sometimes it will simply be necessary to agree to disagree. A key factor to staying married is emphasized in 1 Corinthians 13:5 when Paul wrote that we are not to keep records of each other’s faults, but rather to overlook them. Ruth Bell Graham once said, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." Be quick to forgive, forget and move on – your marriage depends on it.
NAME Canada believes that not only is every marriage worth restoring, but every marriage can be restored when both individuals are willing to put God first and work on their marriage together. Surrendering to the Lord will be the first step, but there are other measures that can be implemented to ensure that you are taking the most effective approach for the healing of your marriage. The strategy that NAME has developed for churches is called the “safety net” concept. This is where various forms of marriage ministry are set up to meet the individual needs of couples and protect marriages from "slipping through the cracks." For those couples willing to commit to the process, NAME Canada offers marriage events, an annual Canadian Marriage Conference where they host some of today’s most influential Christian speakers from around the world who specifically minister to marriages. NAME offers free nouthetic counselling to couples who are seeking marriage or pre-marital counselling services. (Nouthetic counselling is a form of evangelical protestant pastoral counselling based solely upon the bible and focused on Christ. It repudiates mainstream psychology and psychiatry as humanistic, fundamentally opposed to christianity, and radically secular). To become a Volunteer Certified Marriage Specialist, or to get more information about starting a NAME Counselling Center at your church, please call us at 780-438-2526 or email us at: mail@namecanada.net NAME also offers a huge Resource Library filled with unique and original books, tapes, CDs, DVDs and videos that will minister to your marriage. Some of these resources are also offered in Spanish. See Resources. Getting and staying involved in several aspects of the “safety net” ensures a Christ-centered covering over your marriage.
Family and marriage is the key to civilization today. Strong marriage become strong families, strong families becomes strong churches, strong churches become strong communities, and strong community becomes a strong country. Let's make Canadian families STRONG AGAIN! Nehemiah 4:14 says:" Remember the LORD, who is great and glorious, and fights for your brother, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your home."
